who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize