Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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