I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize