I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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