He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
