my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The uberlube is also flammable
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
