I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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