Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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