why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
ok first of all what the fuck
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
