You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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