So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
