am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Randomize
