sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
