where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
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Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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