We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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