how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
