i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
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You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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