ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize