I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
