Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
