3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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