looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
