Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
