Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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