only if we run a train.
done.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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