Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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