Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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