fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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