i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
