so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Randomize
