Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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