Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
