Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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