he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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