I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
