everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
