I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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