go do what you do best...puke behind churches
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
