I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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