Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
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How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.