Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead