i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
