oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.