I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
