what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Randomize
