The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
They took my balls.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Randomize
