So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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