He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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