why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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