Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
