Screwed.edu
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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