I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
