I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
