I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
