Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
