Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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