Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
