Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
