it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
