you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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