life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
