this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
