Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
