Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I supernannyed him into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize