what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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