I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We had sex on a dog bed..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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