I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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