They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
